Daring Driver

I've lived a conservative life by many standards, but today I've decided to do something a little insane.

I'm trying to renew my vehicle registration on the last day of the month.

(Insert crazed laughter)

It hasn't been a conscious decision, exacly; the renewal notice just languished on our refrigerator while I thought about other things like diapers and makeovers and digital watches.

Earlier today I headed out after lunch with Ian in tow, planning to knock out the emissions test and registration renewal in a couple of hours. I knew I would have to wait, but -- not being accustomed to living dangerously -- I had no idea of the lines that awaited me at my local emissions testing station.

And then....sigh....I couldn't help myself. I don't know about you guys, but on my impatient days I tend to be a line hopper at the grocery store. I skip from one line to the next, hoping the new line will be faster, only to be sorely disappointed.

So yeah. The line at the testing station in another part of the city was even longer. I decided to run Ian home and return to my quest after Ian's Daddy came home from work.

So here I am, sitting in line at the testing station. I've been able to pull into the driveway of the station after about 45 minutes of waiting on the shoulder of the highway. So far I've seen a homeless guy on a bike, lots of city buses, and Cher. Or maybe it was Loretta Lynn.

My line comrades and I guard our spots jealously. When another driver pulls into the turning lane as if they might bypass us and pull directly into the station, we inch forward, tightening the spaces between the cars to let the newbies know they must pay their dues.

My toes are going numb, and my leg muscles are beginning to cramp because I keep forgetting to put the car in park. Yet I grow ever nearer to the end of the line, hoping for that moment when I will pass the test....
And then, and only then --

I'll go stand in line at the county clerk's office.

Makeover

I get a makeover tomorrow!

My friend Jessica, who has worked in the fashion industry for several years, is going to survey my wardrobe and then take me shopping to infuse some style into my life.

I've always struggled in finding the knowledge and patience to dress well, so I'm excited to receive help from a professional.

Now that I'm a mom, I need outfits that are machine-washable and easy to throw together. I find myself wearing jeans and Predators t-shirts more often than not, with the occasional workout pants thrown in. I have a couple of cute outfits, but they generally have baby drool on them after a couple of hours; then I'm back to jeans and t-shirts until laundry day.

I do have several nice pairs of pants and jackets that are dry clean only -- right, like those will see the light of day in the next five years.

I am a little nervous about the makeover. I don't weigh what I would like to weigh right now, and buying clothes in my current size means admitting to myself that I'm not as healthy as I would like to be. I think that vulnerability and honesty is only going to help me be more confident in my clothing choices. If I'm feeling brave, I may post "before" and "after" photos for my fashion adventure. Wish me luck!

Dear Inventors,

I would like an alarm clock that taps into my sleep patterns and wakes me after a perfect interval of sleep.

Say I want to nap for about 30 minutes. Perhaps I am open to sleeping for as little as 20 minutes or as much as 45 minutes, depending on what would help me feel most rested. I want an alarm clock that can read my mind and wake me up at that optimal point of rest.

An added bonus feature would be a soothing yet firm voice that speaks whenever I hit the snooze button, reminding me that the extra 20 minutes of sleep in 5-minute increments really doesn't count as extra rest.

I would like all this for under $50, please.

Geniuses, get to work!

To Be Known

I was very, very excited to discover The Introvert's Corner, a new column by Sophia Dembling on Psychology Today's website.

I doubt I would have bothered to read anything from Psychology Today if I hadn't noticed a link posted by a Twitter friend. "The inside scoop on your introvert friends" was such an accurate portrayal of my life that I knew had found a kindred spirit in Dembling.

Of course the terms introvert and extrovert are widely known, and much has been written and debated about them. But this particular column has helped me feel not quite so crazy here in my little introvert cave. Yes, there are others like me, so much so that we get our own column!

So if you are an introvert and you want to be reminded you aren't (necessarily) a crazy hermit, or if you are an extrovert and you want to know why your introvert friends never answer the phone, check out The Introvert's Corner.

Halloweenery

The whole Halloween thing is weird. I loved Halloween when I was a kiddo. I loved dressing up in a costume, and I loved eating candy. And yes, I still love both of those things.

Everybody I knew went trick or treating. We received admonitions to check our candy and make sure it was safe, but other than that Halloween really wasn't a big deal.

Nowadays it seems like everyone is lining up on one side of the holiday or the other. Or another. I'm pretty sure it's a polygon.

I have a Facebook friend who wrote that she can't understand why other people don't understand that she finds nothing to celebrate in Halloween. And then there was the article I saw that claimed demons climb into bags of Halloween candy at the grocery store.

Nancy loves Halloween because the next day means the start of the liturgical Christmas season. Some of my friends wish everybody a happy Reformation Day (that cracks me up -- I love that!).

Another Facebook acquaintance said that if someone dresses up for Halloween at their place of work, that says a lot about them. I inferred a negative opinion from that, which irked me slightly. Probably because I would TOTALLY dress up if I had a workplace that encouraged it. In fact, some days I feel like dressing up as an elf princess just for fun. (Haven't found the courage or the dress for that yet.)

Paul isn't a big fan of Halloween. He questions a holiday that has kids go door-to-door asking for candy from strangers. I definitely see his point there, both with strangers and with candy.

I don't like the macabre aspects of Halloween that some people celebrate. Definitely could do without haunted houses and ghoulish masks. Definitely would prefer to never see the cartoon version of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow ever again.

But I do love candy. And I do love costumes.

Perhaps we could create a new holiday that has nothing to do with Samhain or All Saints' Day or witches or ghosties. Just a lovely day dedicated to the wearing of costumes and consumption of sugar. Who's with me?