A Christmas Prayer

Some friends sent me a Christmas card featuring this prayer. I don't think I've ever read it before now, but I like it and wanted to share it with you.

A Christmas Prayer

By Robert Louis Stevenson

Loving Father, Help us remember the birth of Jesus,
that we may share in the song of the angels,
the gladness of the shepherds,
and worship of the wise men.

Close the door of hate and open the door of love all over the world. Let kindness come with every gift and good desires with every greeting. Deliver us from evil by the blessing which Christ brings, and teach us to be merry with clear hearts.

May the Christmas morning make us happy to be thy children, and Christmas evening bring us to our beds with grateful thoughts, forgiving and forgiven, for Jesus' sake.   Amen.

Source: http://www.prayerguide.org.uk/christmas.htm

Winter of My Discontent

The last few weeks of this pregnancy are turning out to be very frustrating. Not for any particular reason -- happily, baby and I are very healthy. I'm just so restless.

I was hoping to be set free from bed rest this past Monday, but no such luck. My doctor is out of town this weekend, and he would rather me not go into labor while he is gone. I'm good with that reasoning; I trust my doctor and really want him to do the delivery. Plus, baby really needs to cook an extra week if possible and make it to 37 weeks. Nonetheless, I was disappointed to find out I still have restrictions this week.

I did get a few more bits of freedom, though. I've been allowed to get up to make a sandwich or just stretch my legs for 10 minutes for the past couple of weeks. This week my doctor gave me permission to make a few outings in a wheelchair -- shopping, hockey game, etc. -- as long as I didn't walk around. So even though I still have to lay down much of the day, I am grateful for these new developments.

All the same, I am frustrated and moody much of the day. I want to be up, organizing the house, preparing for baby, wrapping gifts! It feels so odd to be almost done but not quite there. In the mornings I wake up and think, "Oh, I need to get out of bed, because I should get up and......um.....well.....nothing, I guess. I just need to lay here."


As discontented as I am, though, I think about the rest of the quote I used in my title -


"Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this son of York;"

I remind myself that this winter of discontent will be made summer, by the birth of my son and the birth of THE Son of God, who paid for failings of my human nature.

Things I Expect Someone to Bring Me After I Have the Baby

• Brownies
• A Deli Sandwich
• Donuts - Pumpkin Spice, Plain Cake, and Plain Glazed
• Baskin Robbins Ice Cream Cake
• Chocolate Milk
• M&M Sonic Blast

Friends Who Say No

In previous posts I've expressed my gratitude for all the amazing help we have received while I've been on bedrest. Our friends and family have carried us through this time with their assistance and prayers, and I am very thankful.

But there's one aspect for which I specifically want to thank some of you....

Thank you for saying no.

Sometimes I ask for help, and you aren't available. Perhaps you are taking care of your own sick child, or perhaps you have to work. Maybe you just need a day off. So you say no.

And I really, really appreciate it.

You see, in my current position, I have to ask for help a lot. I can't worry and analyze whether the person I am asking really wants to help or whether they're just being "nice" and will resent me for it later. The openness and honesty required for a friend to be able to say, "No, we can't help you today" is becoming something I value more and more. Your willingness to say no gives me the space to ask for help freely, with no sense of obligation on either side -- just compassion and community.

I think I place extra value on the willingness to say no because it is something at which I have never been very good. For most of my life I have tended to say yes when I didn't mean it and become resentful, or -- more frequently -- just shut down and become unwilling to help in general because I couldn't trust myself to set healthy boundaries with my decisions.

Seeing so many of you surround me with grace and love in both your "yeses" and your "nos" is an inspiring gift that I hope I treasure always. Thank you.

My "Normal" Doctor Appointment

On Monday, I got to go to a normal doctor appointment.

For the past 4 months, I have had an OB or MFM appointment at least every two weeks, often once a week. At every appointment, save two extra checkups to monitor me for gestational diabetes, I have had an ultrasound (and not just the cute tummy ultrasound, either, if you know what I mean). One memorable week at the beginning of this journey, I had 4 ultrasounds in 8 days.

So when my doctor suggested we forgo an ultrasound and do a regular exam for this week's appointment I grinned and said, "Absolutely!"


On Monday, I got to go to one office instead of two. On Monday, I got to hear my baby's heartbeat with a doppler. On Monday, I got to have my belly measured. It was just an ordinary OB exam. It was wonderful.

And the best part of all? I got put on modified bed rest. I'm still mostly restricted to the bed, but I can get up to make a sandwich or walk around the house for a couple of minutes. I try to limit myself to 10 minutes every hour so I don't overdo it (yes, this workaholic needs her boundaries!), and I still can't do housework, but I am so happy to have a tiny bit of freedom back. Using the microwave has never been so empowering!