My Boys

21.5 months. Yesterday, David turned 21.5 months. That's how old Ian was when David was born. And now I look at David and say to myself, "WHAT WAS I THINKING?"

At the time, I thought of Ian as such a "big boy." But David seems so little at this age. I know some of that is birth order and much of that simply is my perception.

Photo by Paul Nicholson

Sweet Ian. I can't imagine how hard it was for him to have a little intruder come into his life. Although that intruder's arrival meant Mommy's release from bed rest, so maybe it was a fair deal.

Ian definitely is my big boy now. He loves going to school and playing with his friends on the playground. I love seeing how parallell play has morphed into playing together for Ian and his friends, whether they are racing cars down slides or pretending to run a grocery store. Ian definitely is in a testing phase, finding out exactly where Mommy and Daddy can and will draw lines. Some weeks he tests with tantrums, and some weeks he tests with passive aggressive slowness.

I think of Ian as my "big boy" so often that I catch myself thinking of him as a 5- or 6-year-old, and I have to remind myself that he is 3. He doesn't need snuggles as often these days, but he still needs physical affection with wrestling and silliness. I can see the rewards and trials he experiences as a big brother....he loves guiding David by the hand when I need extra help, but I think he struggles with the extra responsibility I expect from him.

Sometimes our lives get so hectic that I forget to notice how absolutely amazing Ian is. My son. He loves explaining things. "Mommy, did you know....?" is a phrase often heard. He loves doing things by himself and surprising us by coming downstairs fully dressed or putting away his toys. He can be very serious and focused and then switch quickly to being a basket of silly giggles.

David. He is my last little one, and I am trying to be a brave mommy and let him grow up. It's so easy to think of him as a baby. He loves to be snuggled and held and rocked, but of course he also has an insatiable need to explore. His words are developing at a shocking (to me) rate. A few weeks ago I was amazed at how quickly he added words to his vocabulary. Now I am amazed at how he strings them together.

Mommy: "David, are you a smart boy?"

(Expecting the usual "uh-huh" answer....)

David: "No.... Daddy smart boy."

What? When did these sentences appear? Some of his favorite words are football, baseball, bus, truck, Ian ("Inan"), school ("ool"), zebra, and hippo (first used today when he pointed to the hippo on his diaper and said, "My hippo right there.").

David is a slide man. On the playground he will go for the highest slide he can find. He also attempts to climb ladders and bars like his brother, and a few times lately I've caught him contemplating sliding down the playground pole.

Watching my boys play together is such a beautiful miracle. (It's also a miracle because I can get housework done.) I love watching them chase each other and play hockey and build lego houses. Life in the motherhood trenches can be tough sometimes, but when I can let go of worry and perfection and just watch, I am amazed at the gift I have been given in getting to be a mommy to these two boys.

Taming the Grocery Bill

Is anyone else paying approximately a billion dollars for groceries each month?

I feel like groceries have gotten so expensive. Of course, I have two small boys who eat more than their body weight every day, so that might be part of it.

Seriously, though. I spend about $150 a week on groceries. I'm a bit embarassed to admit that, because that feels like an extravagant amount, and I'm worried you guys will think I'm crazy. I work hard to keep it within that budget. We eat a lot of organic and natural foods, and I try to balance the extra cost of that by couponing and shopping the sales.

I use sites like SouthernSavers.com and FaithfulProvisions.com to search for the best grocery deals each week, and then I plan my meals based on what's on sale and what we already have at home.

I've thought about reducing the amount of organic and whole grain foods we eat, but eating that way is fairly important to me. I usually get organic milk and meat, trying to avoid the hormones and antibiotics that are common throughout the cattle industry. But you guys -- organic milk costs $6 a gallon!

Organic foods are important to me for the health of my kids, but I also like buying them to "speak with my dollar."  I like telling the food companies that I don't want junk in my food. (Except for you, Sonic. Keep putting that cellulose in your yummy shakes.)

So since I want to keep buying organic for now, I'm trying to find cheaper meals to fix. Some Twitter buddies advised me on using dry beans instead of canned beans in my chili recipes, and I think we'll be having a lot more meals based around whole grain pasta soon.

I'd love to hear how y'all are handling your grocery budgets these days. Do you have any cheap recipes or amazing shopping strategies to share?

Soliloquy

Ah, October. Sunny days with a chill edge to them, a time for outside fun, for rainy days spent re-reading Harry Potter. A time for old cats to act like kittens again as they chase imaginary foes.

Also a time for hockey, though with the NHL lockout fans are resorting to desperate measures.

My husband took the boys to Huntsville today to watch a UAH hockey game.

I'm here, resting and relaxing. And attempting to bake a cake, which isn't particularly restful but is not something I would have time to do on an ordinary day.

I'm fearful about "wasting" my time, that I'll have nothing to show for my time spent alone. And then I remember that I'll have that.....my time spent alone, time for my spirit to rest and feel renewed.

A lovely way to spend an October Sunday.

Mommy Brain

My sunglasses are somewhere in an orchard in Portland, TN.  My CamelBak bottle is probably floating somewhere around the Y, but I'm not sure.

When I was expecting my first child, I complained to a friend about my new absent-mindedness.

"I dipped my asparagus in ketchup! I used to be smart!" I wailed.

Excellent picture by my excellent husband.

She didn't cushion the blow:  "It never ends," she said. "My daughter is two, and I'm still experiencing that."

She was right.

Pregnancy hormones are notorious for their brain-sucking abilities, but mommy brain isn't limited to those few months.

Whether it's continued hormonal changes, lack of sleep, too much to do, or (perish the thought!) getting older, mommy brain just becomes a fact of life eventually.

I frequently come home from the grocery store with a completely random product I picked up by mistake: raspberry jelly instead of strawberry, or barbeque chicken wings instead of plain chicken breasts.

And then there is the purse issue. I switch purses and bags so often throughout the week that my wallet inevitably gets left at home occasionally.  Once I discovered its absence while attempting to pay for $200 of groceries at Publix while my kids squirmed in the shopping cart.

I used to be a good copy editor, able to catch mistakes and grammatical errors quickly and easily. Now I find myself in need of my own editor.

A friend of mine recently wrote about the cost that comes with the choice of raising children, and I'm realizing that "mommy brain," too, may be part of that cost.

I wouldn't trade the experience. The humbling act of explaining to a police officer why I don't have my driver's license is probably a healthy antidote to my pride, anyway.

But if I could remember to get toilet paper at the store.....yeah, that would be nice. In the meantime, I'll praise God for smartphones and keep my To Do List and Calendar by my side.

Round Up and Reviews

Just some bits and pieces.


So, thanks to you lovely people, I had enough Modcloth referral credit to get these boots--



--for about $12. THANK YOU!  Thank you, thank you. If you want in on the Modcloth fun and you haven't ordered from Modcloth previously, you can use this link to get $20 off a $50 purchase until October 31st (I think it reverts to $10 off after that). If you HAVE ordered from Modcloth before, then you can get your own referral link and earn credit to buy your own boots! Or cat sweater. Or jams.

Not an easy weeknight meal.

As part of a BzzCampaign, I made baked ziti with Progresso Recipe Starters Fire-Roasted Tomato sauce. It was yummy, but I didn't think the Recipe Starter made the meal any easier or tastier. I wonder if I would have been more impressed with the mushroom sauce or white sauce. Anyway, if any of you know me in real life and want a .75 off coupon, let me know! (I got to try Progresso Recipe Starters for free as part of the campaign, and BzzAgent gives me reward points for blogging my honest opinion.)


 Also as part of a BzzCampaign, I've been trying the Glade Expressions line of products. We're really not an air freshener family, but now that we have two little boys in the house we notice unusual smells on occasion. We put the Glade Expressions Oil Diffuser in Fuji Apple & Cardamom Spice in our guest house to drive out the musty smell, and, um, wow -- it's rather strong. We can smell apples while standing in our driveway. I have the Glade Expressions Fragrance Mist in Cotton & Italian Mandarin for use inside the main house, and it's much more subtle. I don't know if that is a difference in the fragrance or the method of dispersal. If you want to try Glade Expressions for yourself, check out this coupon for $4 off an Oil Diffuser and this coupon for $2 off a Fragrance Mist. (And here we go again -- I got to try Glade Expressions for free as part of a BzzCampaign, and I get reward points for blogging honestly about my opinions.)


And finally, I'm sending you to another lovely post from Life.Edited. "What if I just stop worrying?" Gotta love that.